We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
