Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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