her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
