The maid of honor just puked.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
