Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
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