***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
