Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
