I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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