walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize