Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
