what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
