he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
