Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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