i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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