Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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