Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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