Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
They have beer where we have blood.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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