his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
