I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
