small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
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I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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