dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
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