Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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