Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
