ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
