I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize