The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
