I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
