Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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