walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
