he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
