i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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