so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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