My brain says no but my pants say off.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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