I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
