His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
