I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
