Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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