Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You're a waste of cheezeits
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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