Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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