I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
