What did we do last night that was yellow?
there was a trapeze. enough said
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
