you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize