so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
how does that bad decision feel?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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