...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize