I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize