You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
