ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.