Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
