just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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