Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize