if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
