omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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