i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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