True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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