Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
