so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
