Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
