Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
